It’s been a little over a year since a man murdered five young children at a home in Muskogee.

Jarron Deajon Pridgeon, is accused of shooting the children, their mother and his brother. Some of the kids were his own.

The children’s mother, Brittany Anderson, survived her injuries, but the trauma of that day is something she is still grappling with.

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She says she let Pridgeon visit his kids, during a stop he made on his way to Texas. She says a lot from that night is a blur, but the last thing she remembers was he told her, “He’d never hurt her, and moments later, he snapped.”

She says he shot her in the head first, and then moved on to his brother and her five children.

“I was in and out of consciousness, but I knew that I was attacked first,” She says. “I just remember the paramedics coming in, and they were so shocked; they were like we have deceased kids in here, and I remember hearing that, but it didn’t register. It didn’t register to me until that Friday, when I was in the hospital. I just broke down crying.”

All of her five kids who were murdered, we under 10 years old. She adds, “And then to find out two of my kids were shot twice.”

A year later, Anderson says she feels pain and guilt.

“Just seeing five caskets of my babies laying there, when I feel like it should be the other way around,” she said. “They should have buried me. I shouldn’t have to burry five kids. I have survivor’s guilt, because I feel like I should have went with them.”

She doesn’t want people to forget her babies, and she says finding normalcy feels impossible without them.

Three of Anderson’s kids are still alive, and they currently live with her grandparents.

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